Noli Timere

She couldn't breathe. The last blob of air went out of Her mouth in the form of a vague light. That drop of light flew high, twirling into the dark sky. Suddenly, very brightly a new star was formed. He felt heavy, as if a huge stone was dropped on His back. Grief brought it's darkness and excruciating pain. The very same night He went outside and He climbed and climbed into this big mountain that He once called a way home. He felt numb. It was almost pitch black, the path was bleak and weary. Suddenly, grief started doing it's work, as He started gasping for air. He felt that pain in His chest. The one that appeared from that memorable moment, the one that was always besides Him, but never in. He started to scream. He screamed as loud as His lungs were capable. It was a cry for help. He felt lonely and sad. Misunderstood and unloved. Then, when He was somewhat breathing, He stopped and looked up with those watery eyes into that diamond sky.

- She's home, - He thought, while looking at this one particular star. - I will miss you, His eyes were filled with tears although none of them fell. As if they were hugging Him and staying with Him in His grief. A moment later a strong wind pushed Him on his knees whilst a white nightingale appeared in front of Him. She was not afraid, just stood and looked deep inside His crystal eyes. He was afraid. Of what? - Of what, He said out loud talking to himself. - Death, the nightingale spoke in a soft voice. He fell on His back and pushed away from the bright bird. The nightingale did not move, just kept staring at the man for another minute. - Any living being is afraid of the unknown, you have no expectations, so you expect something worse than good, more terrifying than scary and new rather than something familiar. We are formed this way, to expect something worse in order to prepare for danger, to be alert, to survive. And what if death is like a sleep, what if it's the most comforting thing you could ever feel, and just what if it brings you closer to something wonderful, like a dream? The nightingale's voice was soo soft and calming that it made Him wonder: - Are You my Lord, the almighty God? - The nightingale blinked very slowly once and soared away. The tears found their way and started racing down His cheeks. They were no longer comforting Him, but He didn't need comfort anymore. He felt lighter. He felt seen.

Stop and look at the night sky for once in a while, especially if grief is weighing you down, and give a chance for the milky nightingale to free you.

“Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. “Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble." (Matthew 6:25-34)

Here To Help