Chess with Death

8/1/20242 min read

I think there’s not one human who doesn’t want to be loved, cherished, taken care of, prioritised... not a single one. And when we don’t get that - we feel sadness. And not only that. When we see someone else being prioritised over us by the most important person or persons in our lives we feel rage, anger, disappointment, pain, injustice. Horrible psychological pain. And I am not talking about when your children are being prioritised over you by your partner. That’s a whole different story. I’m talking about your partner prioritising someone else over you. Or a child prioritising his or her second half over a parent. That's always quite a shock, especially to the Mother of the child. It always hurts badly. If this feeling is out of control and not being understood, voiced, seen... it becomes one of those rare feelings that makes us do the most terrifying things and even sometimes play chess with death. Although with a sentence like that, we give power to that feeling: as if it can control you, as if you lose all control over your senses, feelings, mind, thinking, actions. So the most important thing here is not the feeling really, it’s the need that is being violated. I think the most closest one is safety. Although ironically at the same time by playing that game we want to save ourselves and we want that other person to be safe and happy and loved. It’s in our nature, it is like a self-defence mechanism. It’s like when you jump into an ice cold water - you inhale, it’s like when you can’t breathe - you gasp. It's like when you can't do anything, when you loose control in life, you put all your power to try to do something that would put you right back in front of a steering wheel of your life, and that mighty desire might lead to a desperate and irrational move on the chess board. Again - It’s a reflex. We want to lower down the excruciating psychological pain this way. No.. not really… not WANT - we MUST. Otherwise we just won’t survive. We must express the psychological pain in some way, let it out before it will explode in you. Its like a bomb that just started to tick and cause anxiety. Because you know that if it will die within you, you will die with it.

Proverbs 27:4 - Wrath is cruel, anger is overwhelming, but who can stand before jealousy?

Proverbs 14:30 - A tranquil heart gives life to the flesh, but envy makes the bones rot.

Song of Solomon 8:6 - Love is strong as death, jealousy is fierce as the grave.

Chess with death will be a tricky game

The one that everyone at least once in their lifetime will have to play.

Choose your move wisely.

Always,

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